That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
