Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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