oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
