And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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