fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
