CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
