I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
