There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
