just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
