you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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