it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You have to summon your inner elephant
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
