Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
