Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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