There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
