you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
