So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
