Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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