I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
