it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
