I need help removing her.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
