Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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