YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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