too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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