I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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