I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
