Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
