stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
