I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize