does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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