Whod you bang
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
