loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
