it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
