..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's never too late to be topless.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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