I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
