i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
