it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
