After last night, I could never be a politician.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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