You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
