dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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