Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
