I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
