i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
