i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
