so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
