So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
