Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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