Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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