im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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