low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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