no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he told me I talked like a deaf person
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
