Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
