Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
