I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I got inside last night via doggy door
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
