would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
