So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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