go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize