So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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