There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
