Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
where does the pee come out of this thing
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
