We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize