Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize