i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I did not marry a roomba.
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