ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
