dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
